Slapped in the face by grace

Luke 7:36-50

Have you been slapped by grace? 

Grace, by definition is unmerited divine assistance, so one is often surprised when grace happens.  One may experience grace when a stranger helps another pick up items that have dropped, or perhaps when late to work one day – you find all the lights on Hillsboro Street turn green at just the right time.  Grace flows freely.   But when one is slapped by grace there is an additional current that suddenly runs perpendicular and grace runs right into you.  Please note – I don’t imagine that it is grace being hard, but quite the opposite – I imagine grace being well – graceful, kind, soft.   What is hard is actually us in our stubbornness, in your “have to be right-ness”  - in our dichotomic way of existing in and seeing the world  – when this unmerited assistance runs into us – it hurts.  We are slapped by grace. 

I help an organization called Love WinsMinistries.  No, I’m not referring to Rob Bell’s Love Wins – though mutual liberation is probably found in both.  I am referring to the Love Wins Ministries at 707 West Jones Street that provides hospitality and presence to anyone experiencing homelessness.  Love Wins is best expressed through its hospitality house that provides coffee, toiletries, an advocate, conversation or just a place “to be” when the shelters are closed.  

We get slapped by grace a lot at Love Wins.

A few months ago Love Wins celebrated their birthday.  To celebrate the occasion, we threw a birthday party, invited friends and neighbors from all around.  We spent the month before collecting plates, dinnerware, chips, and other yummies to throw on the grill.  One day, during an informal meeting about what else we needed – a friend of Love Wins expressed she would like to contribute too:

“I will get my EBT right before the party.  I’m happy to buy the hotdog buns we need,” she said.

I stood shocked.  Shocked at the selflessness. Moved by the compassion.  When she left the room, I asked my colleague – “we’re not going to let her do that are we?”   My colleague responded – “why not?  She wants to share what she has.  She wants to contribute and be a part of this.”  

In that moment I was slapped in the face by grace.   I had yet to offer anything for the party and there I was witnessing hospitality and charitable giving from what Jesus considers “the least of these.” 

Have you ever been slapped in the face by grace?

I ask because in our scripture story, Simon the Pharisee was slapped by grace!

Simon fell into the trap.  He fell into that parable trap that Jesus always sets. You can see it coming– you know someone is being set up – like in Meet the Parents – where you just feel bad for the guy.  All the way back in Chapter 6 of Luke the table is being set. Jesus gathers his 12 Disciples, he preaches the Sermon on the Mount, he talks about how it’s easy to love those who do good – but what you really have to work on is loving the unlovable.  Jesus talks about being those who are hypocritical – “why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye but do not notice the log in your own?”  Jesus wants those who really love him – to hear his words and act on them.  And for those in which words are not enough – Jesus heals the centurion’s slave and raises Nain, the widow’s son.

By the middle of Luke chapter 7, Jesus’ popularity is rising.  There is discussion from Jesus and John the Baptist about whom the other is and what the other has come to do….  They have come to announce the Kingdom of God is near – but this announcement does not fulfill the expectations of God’s promises.  And God’s people act like children, sitting on the sidelines, pouting, refusing to join in the game.  God is not acting as they had expected – they refuse to respond to God’s call to join in the fulfillment of God’s redemptive purposes for the world.  And who is part of this rat pack refusing to be a part of the solution  - Simon the Pharisee - who then thinks it’s a great idea to invite Jesus to dinner! 

Such a dinner banquet was not a private affair.  It wasn’t a quiet evening sharing a community meal with close friends.  On the contrary - such a banquet was public with the paparazzi townspeople, including that woman – who was a sinner - crowded around to check things out.

We don’t know this until the end of the story – but apparently, Simon was not the most hospitable host.  According to Jesus, Simon does welcome Jesus with a kiss, give Jesus water to wash his feet, or anoint his head with oil.  All considered hospitable gestures. 

It is clear from the story that the woman is aware of who Jesus is and what he has been doing, Seeing a space to offer hospitality where Jesus’ host does not – this woman walks in.  As an expression of love and gratitude – she anoints Jesus.   We don’t know anything about her – other than she is a sinner (usually inferring prostitute).  The women’s actions violate all social norms – she has invited herself into this banquet hall, the act of anointing in this particular way has sexual overtones, and as a sinner she would be considered unclean and made Jesus unclean by touching him.   Even in modern times - this is a SCENE!

Only a small percentage of communication involves actual words: 7%, to be exact. In fact, 55% of communication is visual.  It must have been a look that Simon gave Jesus during this scene – a look of judgment, a look filled with assumptions, a look inferring “otherness”:  I am clean.  She is unclean.  I have invited you to dinner.  She is poor.  I am a distinguished gentleman, she is a prostitute, -

A look so dynamic that before Simon can say word – Jesus tells a riddle that levels the playing field for everyone.  Leaving Simon slapped in the face by grace. 

Simon learns about hospitality from the poor woman – the woman he has always differentiated himself from.  He learns about kindness from the person whom society says is unclean.  He learns what it means to be compassionate from the one who is an outcast and doesn’t fit in.  It is in this moment that  (I imagine) Simon sees his need for grace. 

This scripture demonstrates perfectly my experience with Love Wins. I am Simon the Pharisee.  I am the man blinded by ego and unable to see my need for grace and forgiveness and I need to see it.  I need to experience grace and I know I can only experience grace if my neighbor experiences grace. 

So, I will knowingly be slapped and punched by grace.  Sounds exciting right?  It’s the workout you hate to do – but you know it’s good for you.  This is the place where I am forced to take a good long look at myself – the dark corners, the scary places.  It is here that I can learn and work to unbind myself from the “otherness” that the world presses upon me and that I often carelessly participate in. 

The work of Love Wins is not to make me feel better, or because the bible tells me so.  On the contrary, I participate in the work of Love Wins because this is the place the Gospel makes sense.  

Because unbeknownst to most, there are hidden tent cities that people call home

Because on Thursday night, while thunder storms and 60 MPH winds raged through Raleigh, I knew Jay didn’t make it to the bus on time and therefore didn’t arrive at the shelter on time …and therefore was out in that thunderstorm.

Because how the hell is someone supposed to find and keep a steady job when they need to be lined up at the shelter by 4:00 PM? 

Because it shouldn’t be so damn hard to get a North Carolina ID.

Because a mother shouldn’t have to choose between her child and a safe place to sleep.

Because those who have served and protected this country deserve better.

Because there are holes in the system and injustices to address.

Because people can and do and want to change.

Because I claim a tradition that proclaims that there is good news, newness of life, and hope!

Because there is a chorus of voices asking God “where are you?” and I cannot help but wonder if God asking the same question….

Because my liberation is bound up with yours. 

Love Wins is by no means, the only place such work happens in the world. It cannot be.  Love Wins sets out to be a catalyst, an example, an inspiration, a sounding board to the work that God calls ALL of us to.

We probably are not going to eliminate poverty and homelessness.  I believe in the words of Jesus when he said, “The poor will always be with you.”  But if our work as people of God can be to focus on unwrapping ourselves from the labels we give each other and that separate us – that gives us the illusion we are safe. If we concern ourselves with the same issues Jesus was concerned: pride, injustice, hypocrisy, blindness; what Richard Rohr calls the three “P’s” – power, prestige and possessions  - then no longer will we see poor – but a child of God; no longer will we see homeless – but human, not race – but friend, not republican or democrat – but neighbor, not sexual orientation- but brother and sister in Christ.

Let it be so.  

SoCo, Barton, & Flying Fish!

It’s been almost one year since I’ve blogged?  Holy hell! 

What have I been up to?  Had I kept writing after my somewhat infamous Chic-fil-a post last July, you would have read about a transformative summer; a summer that started with a conference in Orange California and ended with me resigning from my job as Chaplain of Barton College. 

Beach day Laguna Niguel, CA

It was that conference, hosted by Higher Education and Leadership Ministries of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) called SHARE 2012, which pushed me into the precipice of this now adventure.  The conference brought together college students in the Disciples of Christ and United Church of Christ to think about the changes of church, (the fact that only 17% of the US population is in church on any given Sunday (or Saturday – don’t want to leave out the Adventist)) to discuss what’s at stake, and as architects what will the church look like in the future. 

I can’t recap the entire week, but I left transformed.  I left having witnessed and experienced intentionality, creativity, and palatable hope. I was refreshed and nourished and it gave me the courage to do something I had wanted to do for a long time: quit my job. 

YOU FOOL!  Of course you wanted to quit your job – you just spent two weeks in SoCo!  

I probably could have been talked back into my full senses had anyone tried to convince me.  But no one did.  As a matter of fact as I shared my idea, I was only encouraged to go for it.  Not even my own parents, who are always grounded in logic and risk averment said – “that sounds great!”  I moved to a point that if I didn’t pursue this new adventure I would always ask “What if?”  And we can’t have that now, can we? 

Last trip with students - in Haiti

I need to say that my experience as Chaplain of Barton College was amazing! Though I resigned last July, I continued to serve full time through the fall semester and part time until May 2013.  I served for over 5 years, navigating my way through multiple constituencies, overwhelming joy of seeing students transform themselves from freshman to graduation and the immense heartbreak of losing a student and staff member.  I learned a great deal about myself and I developed skills that will sustain me professionally.  I made great friends that I plan on keeping.

As wonderful as my experience was at Barton, I was burned out.  I was working 60-70 hours every week and living apart from my family.  Having one-person offices and working within the academic calendar left little room for the vacation time allotted to rejuvenate.  I was burned out in a position that didn’t create room for a sabbatical.  (When I brought it up, I was told that the sabbatical was an academic term created for solely for faculty.  I had to remind them that the word sabbatical comes from the Hebrew, shabbatt, and that perhaps they are misinformed.  I refrained from reminding them of the history of religious institutions and higher education). My burn out left me with little creativity and energy.  I was reading very little (I didn’t have time for it!) and I let’s not even talk about spiritual life!   I had stopped being an effective Chaplain.  By resigning, I did what was best for the institution, my family and myself.   Needless to say, I now believe all employment should come with sabbatical opportunities. 

So what am I doing now? 

Just finished running my first 8K

I have been in professional ministry for nearly a decade.  When I evaluate my professional gifts they include aspects of organizing, relationship building, motivating, seeing the larger picture and cultivating a path to make that picture happen.  Using these skills, I am doing business as Flying Fish Solutions, helping ministries, churches, and nonprofits in whatever ways they need.  So far, my work consists of planning large-scale events, fundraising, artist management and interim ministry.  I am working with Higher Education and Leadership Ministries as their Director of Undergraduate Programs (HELM Fellows), helping Love Wins, a ministry that cultivates intentional community with those experiencing homelessness, as their Director of Faith and Community Partnerships, managing Christian Piatt: Father, Son andHoly Heretic, and doing a lot of preaching at Wake Forest ChristianChurch.  I also recently finished the 30^th Anniversary fundraiser for the Wesley Shelter, Inc, a domestic violence and sexual assault organization in Wilson, NC.   I am staying busy! 

peaking out of my office - Flying Fish!

I don’t know that Flying Fish is what I’ll do forever but it has created room for me to be more intentional about my life.  I have time to read, play in the garden, I sew, and cultivate my joy.  I am taking better care of myself. I have time to be a better friend. I am taking this time to discern what is next and I feel confident that it will be revealed.   

Why did the chicken cross the road? The complications with giving up Chick-fil-A ...

Like many of my hippy liberal pro-marriage equality friends, I too immediately jumped on the bandwagon to give up Chick-fil-A upon hearing of their CEO, Dan Cathy, responding with “guilty as charged” to a question from the Baptist Press about his stances on marriage equality.  Being passionate about the LGBTQ and marriage equality issues, it was easy to give up the juicy, sensitively spicy and succulent chicken morsels in order to stand in solidarity with friends and strangers.  I even proposed the idea of a General Assembly resolution to boycott Chick-fil-A!

My lunch on Tuesday

Then, an image ran through my mind. 

My local Chick-fil-A happens to be owned and operated by a lesbian.  This person is also a member of the local Christian Church (Disciples of Christ).

Selah

I imagine the Church minister addressing this issue in a Sunday Sermon.  I imagine standing on the floor at the 2013 General Assembly, voicing my opinion about a boycott resolution! 

I think about how this local Chick-fil-A owner might be feeling after Dan Cathy’s words.  How does she reconcile the words of Cathy and the life she has built around her successful business? How would her life be changed if her own church members (and friends) decided to boycott Chick-fil-A?

To answer my questions, I decide to go to the source.  Last Friday afternoon, I went to talk to the CFA owner to get her perspective on her CEO’s comments. (Another student wondering similar questions goes with me)

She spends a generous 30 minutes with us sharing her thoughts about all the hype around this issue and CFA.  Though she disagrees with the CEO, she points out that they are his personal beliefs and he is entitled to them. 

I ask her about what she thinks about a possible church resolution to boycott Chick-fil-A.  She, of course, hopes that wouldn’t happen.  “It’s important to remember that each of these Chick-fil-A’s is individually owned and operated.  I pay a franchising fee to use the Chick-fil-A name and agree to make food the Chick-fil-A way – like putting two pickles on every sandwich.  I agree to run my business on Christian principles such as being welcoming, friendly and hospitable to each person that walks in.” 

(This resonates, as this is one of the friendliest Chick-fil-A’s I have ever been in!)         

Further, she explains, that when boycotting Chick-Fil-A you hurt the business, employees and the community.  It makes sense.

She gets a little Parker Palmer on me – sharing that she sees her job as more than a job – “it’s a calling - it’s a vocation”.  The success of her business allows her to be a leader in a community.  She recalls what this town was like 15-20 years ago for gays and lesbians.  As an owner of CFA, she is able to be a mentor and participates in transforming this town into a more accepting and loving community.  She gets me here as I was taught to be a part of the solution! (I also can’t help but think that by eating at this particular CFA – I can continue to support her, which will then continue to transform my own community)     

I know this issue is a bit more complicated than what I’ve shared, but what is striking about our encounter is how level headed she is.  How honest she is.  How respectful, compassionate, and understanding she is about all that is going on. It challenges me because during topics of passion – I am usually the opposite. This conversation strikes me because of what it is not: extreme.

I can’t help but think of our current political situation and how the tenor out there is one of extremism.  (And I fully admit my participation in it)  It is one that is often mean; and points fingers at the other.  It is one that has moved far away from the days of engaging in critical thinking skills- of making an argument and supporting it!  

It also means a great deal is lost: listening to the other, respecting the other, and valuing the other.  My experience at this particular Chick-fil-A on Friday is one that I cannot shake – undoubtedly, courageously Christian.  

How to lose 10 pounds ...

Across the table where I eat my breakfast hangs a mirror.  I use it mostly to check my lipstick before walking out the door for the day but this morning I watched myself eat breakfast.  An interesting process.  I’m told to lose weight one should eat in front of a mirror.  In obvious why - I don’t know of a single person who looks attractive when they eat.  (How Hardy’s has mastered this with their seductive and sexy double bacon burger commercial is beyond me)

I’ve never really had self-confidence or body image concerns.  I consider myself of average build.  I could stand to lose a few pounds, but I’m ok with that.  I work out and overall, feel good with what I’ve got!  This hasn’t always been the case. 

Several years ago, while in Divinity School, I had the privilege of studying in Thailand.  There I was known as a fat farang.  (Farang is slang for Westerner) Most Thai people are very petite, they are shorter and their frame smaller than most Westerners.  An average Westerner looks ginormous next to an average Thai!  Before I go any further, it’s important for me to note that such a term is purely descriptive.  Thais are not intentionally being rude.  If a Thai were to describe me – they would sincerely say – I am a fat farang, with brown hair, green eyes, and a nice smile.  Nonetheless, when repeatedly hearing this description day after day, month after month – it began to take root inside of my core.  I remember praying each day that I wouldn’t meet a new person who would choose to highlight this particular trait of mine. Over time I started questioning my own beauty inside and out.  I tried to lose weight –in healthy and unhealthy ways.  (Even if I was stick figure thin – I would still be larger than most Thai people!) 

It’s been 10 years since I spent time in the gorgeous country of Thailand.  I have wonderful memories of friends, good food, and large amounts of Thai whiskey.  Thailand taught me the beauty of alone time and truly loving myself. 

This morning, while occasionally gazing up at myself in the mirror, I quickly noticed that smiling makes me look 10 pounds thinner!  

Obamacare

In a few short hours the Supreme Court will rule on the Affordable Healthcare Act – aka – Obamacare.  I am nervous about the decision probably because deep down I already know the ruling – at least in part.  I think what disturbs me most about the debate surrounding the AHA is people still don’t really know what it is and what it could do for all Americans.  Ok not all – the exception will be for those who have a financial incentive to Healthcare Insurance companies.  I see certain constituents utilize their position and media to bully fear into countless of Americans. 

When it comes to politics and faith – the healthcare debate is my issue.  Nothing gets my blood pressure going than when I think about how the United States is the ONLY developed nation that relies on a for-profit private insurance plans.  By doing so, the United States chooses – yes chooses – to preserve separate classes of healthcare based on economic class. I get mad when I think about the 1 million people who will file for bankruptcy because of medical bills this year.  I am saddened when I consider the sacred lives of those who will lose their lives because they cannot pay for healthcare. Selfishly, I also fear for my own future as it would only take one major illness to put this private-educated, Blue Cross carrying, upper middle class white woman – and her family - into the poor house.  I can’t imagine what it would do for the poor.

Two years ago I taught a class called Tackling Healthcare in America.  It was a very good class and I was impressed by the students who took the conversation seriously.  The class looked at the various healthcare models embraced by other nations around the world.  For those interested, I’m going to share a bit of information about each.  There are four main models of healthcare in the world.  You will find all of these models in the United States:

Bismarck Model: This is where the worker and employer share the premium for a health insurance policy.  This model might also sound familiar to us if we are lucky enough to have a job that offers benefits.  If you or your loved one were to acquire an illness you would be covered as long as you continue to work, pay your monthly premiums, co-pays and don’t max out your life-time benefits.

Beveridge Modal: Government owed and run clinics and hospitals.  No bills are exchanged.  If you are a veteran, Native American or work for the Federal Government you have access to this system.  If you or your loved one were to contract a tragic illness – you would be covered. 

National Health Insurance: A combination of the above two models.  The Doctors and hospitals are private but the payer is the government.   Citizens pay monthly premiums (or paid into the system) and the government is the insurance company.  Like many of our government run programs it can be done so cheaply – but yes, there are kinks.  This is like our Medicare and Medicaid programs.  (There are many problems with our Medicare/Medicaid program in the US.  I personally believe the biggest is that the government will not (cannot) pay the price of medical care that the insurance companies can/will.  (There are other issues here that I won’t go into now)  So what happens is that doctors will only take a certain amount of Medicare/Medicaid individuals, leaving many to go without. 

Out-of-Pocket Model: You have access to medical care if you can pay the bill.  In 2010, there were 49.9 million uninsured people in the United States. 

Though not perfect, the AHA was a step in the right direction to create an equal playing field.  The AHA would do many things but the following, I think is critical to helping more Americans:

·         You wouldn’t be denied insurance because of preexisting conditions.

·         Insurance companies could not drop you when you get sick – which they CAN do now.   

·         No cap on lifetime benefits.

·         Everyone has to buy insurance therefore sharing the risk of the unhealthy (which we will all be at some point)

·         New affordable insurance options are available (Exchanges)

·         Everyone has access to a basic affordable healthcare plan

·         Overtime, will help reduce medical costs

Contrary to what you’ve heard on television, from your Congressman, pastor, mother or father, the AHA:

·         Is NOT Socialized healthcare

·         Will not have death panels (frankly, the real death panels are the health insurance companies)

·         You will have a choice of insurance company, doctors and hospitals (probably more so than you do NOW!)

·         Hospitals and doctors will still be able to make a lot of money

Now why most people would not want these things is beyond me.  If you are a part of the 99% - you should want access to the above.   I do not think the Affordable Healthcare Act is a failure but there are many that would like you to believe it is. 

For me, creating affordable healthcare for everyone intersects with and is a reflection of my faith.  I believe in a Risen Christ that healed the sick and defied death.  He actively helped others do the same.  He courageously spoke out against the powers and principalities of this world so the poor and oppressed could live a fuller life.  As a follower of Jesus, I need to actively do the same. 

If we are going to claim we are a national based on Christian principals, we cannot do so if we actively maintain systems of oppression and allow corporations to hold profits over people.  I don’t understand why people of faith will picket clinics and doctors over the issue of the abortion but then do nothing when innocent people are dying from a lack of healthcare.  We can’t care for a human life in utero then disregard it when it comes out and call ourselves Christ-like.

 There are many unjust systems in the United States – many that we will not be able to do much about but creating a system that provides healthcare for more people is one that we CAN do something about and should.  In a few short hours we will know a ruling that will change the lives of many, but it will be reduced to a political debate over who will win the next Presidential election.