Why did the chicken cross the road? The complications with giving up Chick-fil-A ...

Like many of my hippy liberal pro-marriage equality friends, I too immediately jumped on the bandwagon to give up Chick-fil-A upon hearing of their CEO, Dan Cathy, responding with “guilty as charged” to a question from the Baptist Press about his stances on marriage equality.  Being passionate about the LGBTQ and marriage equality issues, it was easy to give up the juicy, sensitively spicy and succulent chicken morsels in order to stand in solidarity with friends and strangers.  I even proposed the idea of a General Assembly resolution to boycott Chick-fil-A!

My lunch on Tuesday

Then, an image ran through my mind. 

My local Chick-fil-A happens to be owned and operated by a lesbian.  This person is also a member of the local Christian Church (Disciples of Christ).

Selah

I imagine the Church minister addressing this issue in a Sunday Sermon.  I imagine standing on the floor at the 2013 General Assembly, voicing my opinion about a boycott resolution! 

I think about how this local Chick-fil-A owner might be feeling after Dan Cathy’s words.  How does she reconcile the words of Cathy and the life she has built around her successful business? How would her life be changed if her own church members (and friends) decided to boycott Chick-fil-A?

To answer my questions, I decide to go to the source.  Last Friday afternoon, I went to talk to the CFA owner to get her perspective on her CEO’s comments. (Another student wondering similar questions goes with me)

She spends a generous 30 minutes with us sharing her thoughts about all the hype around this issue and CFA.  Though she disagrees with the CEO, she points out that they are his personal beliefs and he is entitled to them. 

I ask her about what she thinks about a possible church resolution to boycott Chick-fil-A.  She, of course, hopes that wouldn’t happen.  “It’s important to remember that each of these Chick-fil-A’s is individually owned and operated.  I pay a franchising fee to use the Chick-fil-A name and agree to make food the Chick-fil-A way – like putting two pickles on every sandwich.  I agree to run my business on Christian principles such as being welcoming, friendly and hospitable to each person that walks in.” 

(This resonates, as this is one of the friendliest Chick-fil-A’s I have ever been in!)         

Further, she explains, that when boycotting Chick-Fil-A you hurt the business, employees and the community.  It makes sense.

She gets a little Parker Palmer on me – sharing that she sees her job as more than a job – “it’s a calling - it’s a vocation”.  The success of her business allows her to be a leader in a community.  She recalls what this town was like 15-20 years ago for gays and lesbians.  As an owner of CFA, she is able to be a mentor and participates in transforming this town into a more accepting and loving community.  She gets me here as I was taught to be a part of the solution! (I also can’t help but think that by eating at this particular CFA – I can continue to support her, which will then continue to transform my own community)     

I know this issue is a bit more complicated than what I’ve shared, but what is striking about our encounter is how level headed she is.  How honest she is.  How respectful, compassionate, and understanding she is about all that is going on. It challenges me because during topics of passion – I am usually the opposite. This conversation strikes me because of what it is not: extreme.

I can’t help but think of our current political situation and how the tenor out there is one of extremism.  (And I fully admit my participation in it)  It is one that is often mean; and points fingers at the other.  It is one that has moved far away from the days of engaging in critical thinking skills- of making an argument and supporting it!  

It also means a great deal is lost: listening to the other, respecting the other, and valuing the other.  My experience at this particular Chick-fil-A on Friday is one that I cannot shake – undoubtedly, courageously Christian.  

How to lose 10 pounds ...

Across the table where I eat my breakfast hangs a mirror.  I use it mostly to check my lipstick before walking out the door for the day but this morning I watched myself eat breakfast.  An interesting process.  I’m told to lose weight one should eat in front of a mirror.  In obvious why - I don’t know of a single person who looks attractive when they eat.  (How Hardy’s has mastered this with their seductive and sexy double bacon burger commercial is beyond me)

I’ve never really had self-confidence or body image concerns.  I consider myself of average build.  I could stand to lose a few pounds, but I’m ok with that.  I work out and overall, feel good with what I’ve got!  This hasn’t always been the case. 

Several years ago, while in Divinity School, I had the privilege of studying in Thailand.  There I was known as a fat farang.  (Farang is slang for Westerner) Most Thai people are very petite, they are shorter and their frame smaller than most Westerners.  An average Westerner looks ginormous next to an average Thai!  Before I go any further, it’s important for me to note that such a term is purely descriptive.  Thais are not intentionally being rude.  If a Thai were to describe me – they would sincerely say – I am a fat farang, with brown hair, green eyes, and a nice smile.  Nonetheless, when repeatedly hearing this description day after day, month after month – it began to take root inside of my core.  I remember praying each day that I wouldn’t meet a new person who would choose to highlight this particular trait of mine. Over time I started questioning my own beauty inside and out.  I tried to lose weight –in healthy and unhealthy ways.  (Even if I was stick figure thin – I would still be larger than most Thai people!) 

It’s been 10 years since I spent time in the gorgeous country of Thailand.  I have wonderful memories of friends, good food, and large amounts of Thai whiskey.  Thailand taught me the beauty of alone time and truly loving myself. 

This morning, while occasionally gazing up at myself in the mirror, I quickly noticed that smiling makes me look 10 pounds thinner!